Wheel of Juxtapose

by Azalea

 


Ryan took his place in front of the mike from offstage, a little less than miffed. "I can't believe I got dragged out of Heaven for this…"

They could've at least made him an actual part of the show. But he shrugged it off as he waited for the signal.

"WHEEL…OF…FORTUNE!"

"Welcome to Wheel of Fortune!" he screamed into the mike with an enthusiasm he wasn't feeling. "Please allow me to introduce our hosts for the night…Divine Angel Finnian and John Stonebrook!"

The audience erupted into cheers as the energetic redhead skipped onto the main stage, dragging his less energetic lover along with him. He flashed a beautiful smile that had most of the audience and the television viewers swooning. He turned to face the contestants while keeping a tight hold on John, who was trying to hide his face.

"Hello! Good evening!" Finn's voice reached out over the studio like a breath of fresh air. He grinned at John and with an encouraging nudge sent him on his way towards the main board as he himself took his place at the podium alongside the contestants.

"Welcome to Wheel of Fortune!" he was practically squealing in his excitement. "I've never hosted a game show before, but John Stonebrook showed me an episode of this once, and I thought it was a lot of fun, so when they asked me to host I was-"

He stopped abruptly when he noticed the producer making a cutting motion behind the camera. "Moving right along, let's do our coin toss!"

The board lit up behind John, scaring the hell out of him. He still had no idea what he was doing there. He wasn't fearful at heart, but he didn't like the idea of being on live television where a single fuck-up could ruin his life for about a year.

"Why don't you get us started, John Stonebrook?" called Finn, grinning at him.

John grumbled under his breath; he could never say 'no' to that smile. Without turning around he hit one of the light boxes behind him.

"John Stonebrook! That's not lit up!" chastised Finn gently as the audience roared with laughter. "Try again!"

Muttering a few unsavory words (that were audible thanks to his hidden mike but were quickly censored) John hit the closest lit square, making the puzzle look like this:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ E

"And the category is 'Landmark'! Ready, set, GO!"

"Golden Gate Bridge," said the middle contestant dully as soon as Finn was done talking.

"Ooh, I'm sorry!" said Finn, wincing a little. "But you didn't buzz in!"

The contestant to his right immediately buzzed in. "Golden Gate Bridge!"

"That's right!" The rest of the letters lit up and the audience cheered. "Great job, Caledon!"

"That's Caled," he said, rubbing a hand through his blonde hair.

"But the card says Caledon," said Finn. He brushed it off and turned to the camera. "Let's introduce our contestants, starting off with our leader! Hailing from Hollows in the war-struck land of Juxtan, he's a mercenary with a penchant for pretty young men! The charity he's playing for is RRF: Rhiad Relief Fund. Please welcome Caledon ni Agthon!"

"Caled," he corrected, though he was still smiling.

"And he likes strawberry ice cream!" Finn quickly added.

"What?!"

"Sorry, you didn't provide very interesting info for your profile. Moving on-"

"Hey!"

"Next up…" Finn motioned to the middle contestant. "Is a police officer for Juxtapose City from the not-so distant future of 2019! A psypath telepath who happens to be the hottest piece of ass-"

"WHAT?!?!"

"It's written on the card," offered Finn, showing it to him. He promptly snatched the card, read it, and tore it into tiny pieces.

"Um…anyways, if he lived in this timeline he'd be twelve years old! The charity he's playing for is Act Now: Bliss Awareness. Please welcome Lt. Black!"

Black grumbled, glaring at the audience.

"And lastly, we have a real thoroughbred! The boss of his own security company, hailing from Las Vegas --Sin City-- and Nevada, home of gambling, legalized prostitution and Reno 911! His winnings will go towards the Sunrise Children's Hospital. Please welcome Maxmillian Poole!"

"…And thank you for associating all those things with ME," said Max darkly.

Finn laughed nervously. "Well, look on the bright side! You still rank the highest on the Tier!"

"…That's true." That seemed to soften Max's mood a bit.

"Tier? What tier?" demanded Black, looking between the two of them.

"I…think they mean Rith's top to bottom tier," said Caled. "I'm ranked in the middle on it."

"And how am I ranked?!"

"Right! Moving right along!" laughed Finn, turning back to the board.

"Hey, I asked you a question!"

"Let's bring up our first puzzle! And the category is 'Occupations'!"

The board lit up as so:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"And since you're in the lead you're up first, Caled!"

"That looks rather long for a job title," said Caled, but he gave the wheel a spin. It landed on $500. "All right…I dunno…A?"

"You have to buy a vowel!" said Finn.

"…P?"

"Yes, there are two P's!"

The board lit up in two spots. But because John had very little enthusiasm in this game he ended up hitting the wrong box. Though he corrected himself, it was known to the players that one of the letters in the second word was R:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ P P _ (R)

Caled gave the wheel another spin, and it landed on $400. "K?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! There's no K in these words! That means Black is up next!"

"I'd like to solve the puzzle," said Black dully.

"WHAT?!?!" cried Caled.

"You can't until you make a wager!" said Finn.

Black sighed heavily and gave the wheel a spin. It landed on $1,000. "Can I solve the puzzle now?"

"No, you have to make a guess first!"

"Fine. L."

"And we have one L!"

L _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ P P _ (R)

"Lithographic Stripper," said Black.

"And that is it!"

"How'd you know that?!" demanded Caled.

"What exactly is a lithographic stripper?" wondered Finn aloud. "It sounds kinda kinky!"

"They're the ones who color film," said Max in a bored tone. He didn't seem to mind he was in dead last.

"Oh." Finn looked a little disappointed but quickly brightened. "All right, the next puzzle! And the category is 'Quotes'!"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

"Oh c'mon!!!" yelled Caled. "How the hell can we figure that out?!"

"Hmm, it does look difficult," admitted Finn. But he noticed the producer making another slashing motion and laughed it off. "Right! Black, you go again!"

"Can I solve the puzzle?" he asked.

"You still haven't spun the wheel."

Black gave it a spin, but unfortunately it landed on BANKRUPTCY. "I'm sorry! You've lost all your money!"

Black didn't look like he cared. Caled was giving him suspicious glances.

"Max, you're up!"

Sighing heavily, Max reached out and gave it a good spin. It landed on $600. "T."

"Yes, we have nine T's!"

_ _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _.

"…That didn't help much," observed Max. "Can I buy a vowel?"

"Sure!"

"E."

"And we have six E's!"

_ _ E _ _ T _ E _ E _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ T E _ _ _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ E _ E _ T _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ _.

"That didn't, either." He gave the wheel another spin, but it also fell on BANKRUPTCY. So it went to Caled, who called out M and got it wrong. Then it fell back to Black.

"I'm solving the puzzle," he said.

"But-" said Finn.

"'One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.' A quote by William Durant."

"Um…is that right?" asked Finn tentatively. The buzzers went off, indicating it was. "And you got it for an extra $10,000!"

"All right, that's it!" roared Caled. He pointed an accusing finger at Black. "You're cheating! You're using your telepathy to see the answers! They shouldn't have let a psypath on the show!"

"That's discrimination!" yelled someone suspicious from the audience.

"It's not my fault that idiot producer is projecting the answers," said Black, looking bored.

"Ah-HA, I knew you knew the answers!"

"And it's time for a commercial break!" announced Finn quickly. "We'll be right back!"

 


"Do you have trouble keeping an eye on your money? Do you have difficulty trusting big corporate banks? Well, look no further than Gam & Lio Enterprises! No one knows money better than them!"

"If you don't have the money, chances are WE do!" said Gam, wearing a huge smile.

"We'll keep our eyes on it," said Lio. He and Gam obligingly tapped their eye patches.

"Gam & Lio Enterprises; no better people to trust to swindle-I mean protect-your life savings."

 


"I refuse," said Anifiel darkly.

"But no one has as much of a commanding presence as you!" said the producer. "You're perfect!"

"Are you challenging me?! I said I refuse."

"Why?! This is such a simple task! Or are you a coward?!"

Oops.

Wheel of Fortune came back on, but, "I AM COMMANDER OF HEAVEN'S ARMY! WHEN I SAY I REFUSE TO CUT A PROMO, I REFUSE!" drowned out the music and the audience stopped clapping to tremble at that awesome voice.

Except Finn of course, who was still smiles onstage. "And welcome back! Unfortunately during the commercial break some…modifications were made to tonight's lineup.

"After careful deliberation, the studio execs determined that having a telepath on the show was an unfair advantage to the other contestants. So I'm sorry to say that Black has been disqualified.

"But," said Finn as some shouting erupted from the audience. "To prove this station's tolerance-and to avoid a lawsuit-a psypath has taken his place at the podium. An empath to be precise, who cannot sense the answers. He too hails from Juxtapose City; a former prostitute now a police officer. His hobbies are licking whipped cream off his lover's body-hey, so is mine!-and making sure JC's supply of Bliss is well-guarded! He's playing for the Road to Silent City charity-"

"HEY!" yelled Black from the audience.

"Please welcome Calyx Starr!"

Calyx was wearing a smug smile and he waved at the audience.

"Isn't that a little…much?" asked Max.

Finn held up the card. "It's what he wrote."

"It's nice to be here, Finnian," drawled Calyx. He glanced at Max. "Is prostitution really legal in Nevada?"

"…I'm packing a gun," said Max.

"Mmm, what a coincidence; so am I."

"I thought you're a former prostitute," said Caled.

Calyx shrugged. "Considering my rap, it's good information to know."

"Welcome, Calyx. And lastly…" Finn's face fell. "John Stonebrook's mistakes at the board have been noted and he's been sent on…vacation. In his place for the remainder of the show will be the Scourge of Rhiad himself, Hadrian ni Leyanon! Hadrian, wave to the 60 million people watching us now!"

Hadrian was shown next to the board, a deer in headlights look on his face. It was fairly obvious he didn't favor the idea of being there, and it didn't help that one of the cameramen were zooming in on his face.

"All right, then! Since Caled was in the lead he gets to go first!"

"But Darkness had almost $20,000," said Calyx.

"Yes, but Black's score doesn't count for you. Your balance is zero."

"Fuck."

"And let's light up the board! The category is 'People'!"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

This sound progressed relatively uneventfully. Hadrian was just as scared and embarrassed about his "job" as John Stonebrook had, though the latter was currently taking a much needed nap in the green room.

"Walt Whitman," said Max in a dull tone.

"Correct! That brings your score up to $8,000!" cheered Finn.

"Who's 'Walt Whitman'?" demanded Caled.

"An American writer who was bisexual," said Finn matter-of-factly.

"Technically, that's still under dispute," said Max.

"Why would I care about some poet? On that note, having categories about things from this world puts me at a disadvantage!" Caled's temper seemed to be flaring.

"And on that note, it's time for another commercial break!" Finn broke in hastily. "Um, Hadrian, why don't you come over here for a minute?"

The beautiful sorcerer-still very mindful of the camera on his face-stalked over to the podium.

 


"Life may not seem fair to us. But we here at the Fifth Wheel Group understand the pain you're going through."

"I'm traveling with FIVE guys and over half of them are fawning over ANOTHER MAN!" fumed Syellen, stomping her foot in the obvious showings of a temper tantrum.

"Nobody should have to suffer for anything in their life."

"I try and avenge my supposedly dead girlfriend and I almost died!" said Gelie, her lip forming a pout.

"For a nominal fee, our hands-on team of professionals can administer to your needs and help you through this hard time in your life."

"What kind of 'nominal fee'?" asked Mneumonia warily.

"Being a woman in male/male smut can suck. But it doesn't always have to be that way. Give us a call now."

 


"Maybe we should stop using Angels-"

"No! I'm CERTAIN I'm not wrong!" declared the producer. Being yelled down by Anifiel had left him with a white complexion, but he still looked determined. "Bring on the next one!"

"Um…" his assistant looked very uncertain, but meekly ushered the next Angel forward. Camael for his part looked completely perplexed by what he was doing.

"Just announce us back from commercial break!" hissed the producer.

"What?" asked Camael.

His voice-or merely his presence-cast a luminous light across the studio. Within seconds the whole audience was falling all over themselves.

Finn stood at his podium, unaffected. "Right, welcome back everyone! And everything is as it should, right Caled?"

Caled definitely looked a lot happier than before the commercial break, and it probably didn't have much to do with Camael. His blonde hair was suspiciously tussled and his shirt was cockeyed. Calyx was calmly fanning himself and Max stood stonily as he'd done throughout the show.

"And on with it!" cheered Finn. "The next category is 'What are you doing'!"

The board lit up behind Hadrian, who looked even more tussled than Caled, with flushed cheeks and a suspicious purple mark under his right ear.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Since Calyx is in dead last, you may go first," said Finn sympathetically.

Calyx scoffed as he reached for the wheel. "I'd be doing a hell of a lot better if a CERTAIN SOMEONE "helped" me out with the answers."

(Go to hell, Starr.)

Calyx ignored the sting of Black's telepathic words and gave the wheel a good spin. It landed on $500. "All right, N?"

"We have one N!" cried Finn as Hadrian went to hit the lit square. Many observers noted the raven-haired sorcerer had a limp that hadn't been there before. Many observers started snickering.

_ _ _ _ _ N _

Calyx spun the wheel again and it landed on $350. "G?"

"And a G! Wow, you're on a roll so far Calyx!"

_ _ _ _ _ N G

Calyx suddenly felt very amused. N G…and there's five spaces left…this sounds very suspicious.

(Starr whatever you're planning, don't do it.)

Are you finally gonna tell me the answers? Calyx couldn't project, but he knew Black heard him.

(Some insane part of me wants to spare you any embarrassment.)

Calyx smiled smugly and addressed Finn. "Can I buy a vowel?"

"Sure!" said Finn.

"U."

"And there's one U!"

_ U _ _ _ N G

Calyx had a very strong urge to solve the puzzle, but he decided against it. Trying very hard not to giggle, he gave the wheel another spin. Unfortunately, the wheel landed on 'Lose a Turn'.

"And Max, our leader in the game, is up next!" called Finn.

Max spun the wheel stiffly, watching it land on $1,000. "R."

He guessed wrong, and the board went to Caled. Unfortunately, Caled also guessed wrong and it went back to Calyx.

Calyx struggled to hold back his laughter as the wheel landed on $250. "…F."

"And there's one F!"

F U _ _ _ N G

Laughter suddenly broke out across the audience. Hadrian seemed too embarrassed to look at the board anymore. Both Finn and Caled seemed to be holding their laughter while Max looked impassive.

Calyx decided to rub it in more. "I wan to buy an I."

"…One I," said Finn, amazed as the board lit up. Hadrian stiffly hit the box and stood far off to the side of the board, as if he wanted to be as far detached from the winning word as possible.

F U _ _ I N G

"…I think I'll solve the puzzle," Calyx drawled.

"Um…okay," said Finn, glancing at the producer.

(Starr--)

But Calyx was no longer listening. Hands firmly planted on hips, he called out his guess. "F-beep!"

The studio went dead silent. It was only a few more seconds before it was broken by the bell.

Signaling the wrong answer.

"What?!" snapped Calyx.

(I told you so.)

"I'm sorry, but you guessed incorrectly! You lose a turn and the board goes to Max!"

Max seemed unaffected by Calyx's proclamation and calmly spun the wheel. "L."

"And one L!"

"What the hell is the word then?!" demanded Calyx.

"I'll solve the puzzle," cut in Max. "Fueling."

"And you've got it Max!"

The board lit up for 'F U E L I N G'. Hadrian seemed far more relieved now and started clapping enthusiastically.

"Fueling?!" exclaimed Calyx. "What kind of stupid word is that?!"

"Come now, this is primetime television!" Finn chastised gently. "Did you think we'd use an expletive?"

"Yeah, think about it," said Caled, though he'd been fooled as well.

Calyx grumbled some unsavory words under his breath.

"Now for the next-"

A loud bell sounded, interrupting Finn. "Oh wait, we're out of time! Let's go to the Speed-Up Round! In this round, you can only guess one letter before you have to solve the puzzle! Each consonant is worth $1,000 and the vowels are free! And the category is 'Fun and Games'!"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Finn spun the wheel and it landed on $500. "Caled, you're up first!"

"R."

"Two R's! Now solve the puzzle!"

_ _ R _ _ _ _ _ _ R

"How am I suppose to know that?!"

"All right, you're up next Calyx!"

"Winning this game won't do s-beep for me since I'm dead last," grumbled Calyx, his drive obviously gone. "But ah well…P."

"Two P's!"

_ _ R _ P P _ _ _ R

"Huh. You guys aren't catching me twice with THAT one!" boomed Calyx, folding his arms over his chest.

"Um…Max?"

"K," said Max in an extremely bored tone.

"And one K!"

_ _ R _ P P _ K _ R

"Wait a minute-" began Calyx.

"Strip poker," said Max.

"You got it! And Max is our winner today!"

"Are you kidding me?!" exclaimed Calyx. "Strip poker is appropriate for "primetime television"?!"

"Aw, cheer up Calyx! You'll be walking away with $3,400 for the charity of your choosing!"

(Which doesn't even exist.)

Don't think you'll get away with not helping me, Darkness.

"And Caled is walking away with over $7,000 for his charity!"

"How much does that translate with Juxtan's currency?" asked Caled.

Finn whipped out a calculator from out of nowhere and punched in the numbers. "Around 500."

"WHAT?! What good is THAT?!"

Max sighed heavily and reached into his pocket.

"I think I was put at a disadvantage, being placed in through midgame!" said Calyx.

"500 isn't going to support everyone that suffered!" snapped Caled. Hadrian fidgeted where he stood.

As the two blonde complained to Finn, they were stopped abruptly by checks being shoved under their noses. "Shut up."

It was Max, looking very irritated.

"And with that, it's time for our final commercial break!" announced Finn hastily. "We'll see you all shortly! Hey, perk up Hadrian!"

Hadrian did indeed look unhappy and Caled for his part seemed to realize what he'd said.

 


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"Uh-" began Noah.

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The studio was quiet once more as Finn and Max stood in front of a much smaller wheel near the board. Caled and Calyx were already gone of course, but viewers couldn't help but notice a certain telepath was missing as well.

And John Stonebrook had replaced Hadrian at the board, though he looked as enthusiastic as he did before he was "fired".

"So here we are, in the Final Round," said Finn, still holding onto his cheer. "Do you have anyone here to cheer you on, Max?"

Max motioned to the audience neutrally. "My lover, Ethan."

Ethan waved cheerfully from the rail, but an overeager cameraman got himself in Ethan's face, sending the very attractive blonde sprawling on his ass.

Max's eye twitched, but otherwise said nothing.

"All right then, you have $12,562 dollars so far. Whether you win this round or not you'll still walk out of here with that money. Go ahead and give the wheel a spin."

Max stiffly spun the wheel and picked up the golden envelope the arrow fell on. "And now let's look at the board! The final category is 'Thing'! We'll automatically give you the letters R, S, T, L, N, and E. Let's see what they reveal!"

_ _ _ T _ _ _ S E _ _ N T _ S _

"Now you must pick three more consonants and one vowel!"

Shouting came from the audience of what letters Max should choose, but he ignored everyone. "H, J, F, and A."

"Let's see what the board says!"

J _ _ T A _ _ S E F A N T A S _

"And you have ten seconds to solve the puzzle!"

"Juxtapose Fantasy," said Max dryly.

"And you've got it! You won, Max!" Finn clapped very enthusiastically and the audience cheered. Max look unaffected by his win.

Finn motioned to the envelope Max held. "Show us what you won! A vacation? A new car? Or was it a big cash reward?"

"I have no use for any of those," said Max, but he opened it anyway and showed everyone.

"It's 100,000! You won $100,000!" screamed Finn. He started jumping around the stage and even gave Max a quick hug. Max just stood in place as colorful balloons, confetti, and streamers rained down from the ceiling and smothered him.

"Great job!" laughed Ethan as he ran to stand next to him. "Those kids will certainly be happy about this! I'll certainly reward you later!"

"Of course-" began Max.

Suddenly, the studio went black. Confused murmurs and brief shrieks rattled across the area for five seconds until the lights abruptly switched back on.

And Max noticed he no longer held the golden envelope in his hands, but a small business card. Mutely, he held it up and read it aloud. "Gam & Lio Enterprises thanks you for your hefty contribution."

"Producer!" wailed one of the interns from off-camera. "The large cash-sum…it's gone!"

"GONE?!" shrieked the producer. "What do you mean GONE?!"

"It was locked in the safe, but the safe was craftily broken into! The $100,000 is gone!"

"This is an outrage! You're fired!"

"They kept $100,000 in a safe?" asked Ethan incredulously. "That's pretty stupid."

"The hell with it," said Max, tossing aside the business card. "I'll donate to that hospital out of my pocket. What I should've done instead of agreeing to this nonsense."

"Well I had fun," said Ethan, following Max offstage. "I use to watch this show as a kid. At least they didn't make you go shopping for your winnings."

"Nevertheless, this was a foolish endeavor for someone like me. I'll be sure to avoid such things in the future."

Ethan couldn't help but laugh. "C'mon, you HAVE to admit you enjoyed yourself somewhat! If you didn't, you wouldn't have bothered participating and let one of those other guys won!"

Max gave him a dark look. "I'll be sure you pay for making such assumptions."

But Ethan just smiled back. "I look forward to it."


"That was fun!" said Finn as they left the studio. "I'd love to do that again!"

"Then I'll gladly be one of the people in the audience," said John wearily. "I'd rather not humiliate myself on national television again."

"Oh, John Stonebrook! You didn't humiliate yourself! You were fantastic!" Finn latched onto his arm. "I was the most proudest person there, even prouder than Ethan!"

"Well…I was only too happy when they kicked me off. I didn't like that they called me back. Where'd Hadrian go, anyways?"

A smug smile spread over Finn's pretty mouth. "I'm sure Caled's taking good care of him."


"Look at all this money!" gushed Gam, hauling his very heavy sac onto the only free couch in one of the studio's green rooms. "What a bunch of morons, storing this in a safe that wasn't even locked!"

Caled grumbled darkly as he pulled on his pants. "Couldn't you guys knock, or something?!"

"You never seemed to mind before," said Lio quietly, staring openly at a half-dressed, very disheveled and very embarassed Hadrian.

"We might be able to retire with this amount!" Gam pulled out a large wad. "How much is this worth in our world?"

"Probably not much," said Caled, pulling out the check Max gave him. "But a combinations of my winnings, Max's bribe, and that loot might be enough for my charity."

"Yes," said Hadrian, hugging his shirt to himself. "Donate that money to Caled's charity."

Gam and Lio eyed each other, disappointed at this turn but obviously not ready to say no to 'Gavedon's Bane' or the 'Scourge of Rihad'. Finally, Gam broke the silence with a loud laugh. "Yeah, retiring's boring anyways! What would we do with our time other than sitting on our asses?"

Lio coughed discreetly and Gam hastily redirected himself. "Well, thieving's too much fun to give up anyways. So make do with the money." He picked up the havy sac and tossed it to Caled. Caled had been starting to rise from the couch, but when he caught it he choked and fell back onto it.

"Thank you," said Hadrian, sounding very guilty.

Caled shoved the bag off him and turned to Hadrian. "C'mon Hades, I already apologized for saying that. I've already forgiven you, so please stop letting this guilt eat away at you."

"This money should…help," added Lio quietly.

Hadrian nodded hesitantly and managed a smile. "Yes…I hope it'll help."


Calyx and Black were sitting in the backseat of a car just in front of the studio. Calyx nuzzled his check close to him. "All this money…that Max is one nice guy! I'll have to 'thank' him for this later!"

Black wasn't really paying attention, reading over a piece of paper with colorful font.

Calyx looked over his shoulder. "'A Guide to JF from Top to Bottom by Rithannen'. Where'd you get that?"

But Black's eyes were glaring at the bottom of the paper. "'Cockwhore. Nuff sed'. What the fuck?!"

Calyx laughed. "Well, she has a point-"

Black sent him a murderous glare and Calyx recovered himself. "But you aren't anyone's cockwhore but mine, Darkness."

Black's entire face darkened dangerously. His eyes fell to the check in Calyx's hands. Before the empath could react, he snatched it away. "This check will be used for an actual charity."

"Darkness!" Calyx made a grab for the check, but Black stuffed it in the front pocket of his jeans. "That's MY money!"

"Now it's mine and it will be used more effectively."

"For which charity?! Your Bliss Awareness one or the payola for the JCPD?! If you donate it to the 'Let's kill Cpt. Dickead Fund' I might forgive you!"

Black reached for him. Calyx prepared to defend himself, but Black didn't strike him. He pressed a hand to Calyx's cheek. "Just calm down. I know what I'm doing. You have to trust me a little more."

Calyx did calm down, somewhat. "All right, all right. Donate it to some needy kids who'll use it." He sat back in his seat. "I did enjoy that game, except for when they tricked me with that fucking word."

"You should've realized they wouldn't use the word 'fucking' for television."

"Meh, fuck them. I have better things to do with my time."

"You just said you liked being on the show," Black sighed.

"I like other things. Better things." Calyx gave him a heated look. "You know what I mean?"

"All too well."

The End!!!!

Author's Note: I obviously don't own Wheel of Fortune, I just corrupted it a little bit. And I don't own the Tier list, you can thank Rithannen for that. I hope neither minded I used them here.

 

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